This edition is all about what's in it for you? Life is short - time is precious. I don't know about you but my inbox is full of cr*p emails from people I don't know, selling me sh*t I don't want.
Our records show that of all the people that have subscribed to our newsletter only about 40% of you actually open it. If you would prefer not get these emails - please do not be afraid to unsubscribe by clicking on the link, we won't mind. (Really I will not take it personally and go and sit in a foetal position in the corner of the room crying in to my shiraz because no-one likes me).
Our rally cry for the inappropriate gift co is MAKING LIFE FUN AGAIN. We want to achieve this by making you laugh either via our newsletter, socials and or products. We also want to build a community of like minded people who share our sense of humour.
Tell us what you want? more swearing, less swearing, more jokes, more products, nicer china cups, more naked men covered in chocolate. What problems can we solve for you? What keeps you awake at night? Who makes you laugh?
The next couple of weeks I will be reaching out to some of our customers personally to ask these types of questions. As always you can tell me to F*ck Off.
The best part of our job really is our customers, you make us laugh every day and we want to build our brand for you - we are not everyone's cup of tea and that's ok... we like coffee any way - long and black!
We are still a small family run business and we are forever in your debt for allowing us to do this awesome job of being inappropriate every day!
Please send us any feedback you think is useful firstname.lastname@example.org
There were three men who were lost in the forest. They were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass the trial. The first step of the trial was to go into the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explains the trial to him-you have to shove the fruits up your bum without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten. The first apple went in...but on the second one he winced in pain, so he was killed and went to heaven. The second guy arrives with ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...but on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter, therefore also was killed. The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."
Don't forget Mothers day is coming up soon.
Introducing our LGBTQI range below as designed by you! Stock will be arriving next week.