December 19, 2018 2 min read

Why was Santa upset when he got a sweater for Christmas. Because he was hoping for a screamer or a moaner.

Why does Santa always come through the chimney? Because he knows better than to try the back door.

One Christmas Eve, Santa was under a lot of stress. He and Mrs. Claus had just had a fight, it was nearly time to leave and his sleigh wasn't loaded, and the elves were talking about going on strike.  

Then an angel walked into his office and asked, "Hey, Santa, what do you want me to do with this Christmas tree?"And so was born the tradition of there being an angel on top of the Christmas tree.

What's the difference between a Christmas tree and a man?A Christmas tree will stay up for 12 nights, has cute balls and looks good with the lights on.

Have you heard about Adolph, the brown-nosed reindeer?He can run as fast as Rudolph, he just can't stop as fast.

Santa walked in and said to mrs Claus " I’ve been so busy, I don’t know if I’m coming or going"! She said......"By the look on your face you’re going.....because when you’re coming you look like a stroke victim trying to whistle !!

Shit The Bed Hot Sauce

Our Hot Sauce has made it into the UK.. we are just waiting for it to get delivered to our warehouse, sorry we couldn't get it there in time for Xmas delivery.   Blame Customs! 

Our Gunt/Genis bags have arrived in stock.  Perfect for hiding the Christmas belly and very useful for storing your Hobnobs or Carlsberg in. 

Gunt Genis Bag

A book that combines food with sex... does it get any better?  Beau is an Australian legend and was runner up on Australia Masterchef.   Check out his food porn book below. 

Food Porn